


Retrospective

by LazarusPitHotTub



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Angst, F/M, Oh yes the skating parents are here too, PyeongChang, gold - Freeform, not winning the Olympics :(, silver - Freeform, sochi, the media - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-02
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-23 19:56:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16165898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LazarusPitHotTub/pseuds/LazarusPitHotTub
Summary: They’re second in Sochi. Please let 2018 be different. Sochi and Pyeongchang angst. Everything and nothing like you expect.





	1. Drowning, Falling and Flying

Sochi is everything that you could’ve wanted out of an Olympic Champion’s performance. And, the sad thing is that it is truly and utterly them at the time. The free program is perfection because that’s what they need to be to win. The end of the program is supposed to be the celebration. But, by the time the free rolls around, they’re already over two points behind and losing ground fast. They never get that celebration. When her eyes meet his they’re like shattered glass, she’s so tired. He’s done.

 

They have bared their hearts and been rejected. Won’t make that mistake again.

 

Silver in 2014 is a relief. No more doubt. No more waiting. No more questioning yourself, it’s over.

 

There are two parts of them. One that looks back at the chaos of the last year and is honestly shocked that they even medalled at all, and one that angsts back over what they did and knows that it’s the real gold medal skate. Regardless, they’re so proud of one another for making it this far. You see, there is this feeling of falling endlessly through the dark when you’re as lost as them. Gold might’ve been a rescue attempt where they’re carried out of there to safety but silver is like hitting the ground with the force of reality. Regardless, it’s all stopped.

 

When you have spent so long falling it takes the courage of the world to put yourself back together enough to throw yourself off of the ledge again. So, naturally, that’s what they do. They throw themselves off of another cliff together. They make the same mistake again, it feels worth it this time.

 

They know that they’ll get a medal in Pyeongchang, it’s hard to imagine a world in which they don’t. It’s not Sochi either, though. Tessa doesn’t even entertain a silver this time. They dream not of golds at night but of one another, of Tessa’s never ending grin and Scott’s proud exuberance.

 

Scott will always remember Tessa’s beaming face as they ended their free. They know it’s gold. They know they’ve done enough. But, more than that, those dreams have become a reality; Tessa’s smile is just as wide as he could’ve imagined it being, and Scott is just as enthusiastic and full of pride as she has ever seen him. They see and hear the crowd roaring.

 

Her hand is so tight around his when they wait for the scores. They can dimly hear _I Want Candy_ playing in the background — Scott would later find this fact rather amusing.

 

“Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir have earned...” the scores don’t mean anything to him. He has absolutely no comparison. Tessa’s nail digs into his hand as they wait.

“They are currently in second place.”

It’s really really hard not to panic. It’s hard not to notice the way he’s pretty sure that Tessa’s nail is drawing blood. It’s hard to tune out the outrage of the roaring spectators around them.

Tessa pulls Scott in and he whispers in her ear ever so quietly.

“You are always gold to me.” She feels him grip her even tighter, they ground one another.

 

Just to clarify, no-one thinks that silver is an innately bad medal. That is, provided no-one else has the gold. But these are not indistinguishable entities. One cannot exist without the other, they are dependant.

 

Backstage they hold one another and she sees his vision glaze over as she pulls back from him. She takes his palm and presses it to her heart.

“No matter what, I love you.”

 

Dealing with a silver wouldn’t be half as bad if other people weren’t acutely aware of this fact. Interviews are decidedly not fun. Neither is having to answer questions relating to new gold medalists. Neither is seeing other people on top of that podium knowing in their hearts that they themselves had been the ones who had gone out there and done what no other team could do.

 

The evening of the silver is not what they had imagined it would be. Team Canada congratulatesthem, of course, but they are tired and just— done. Done with being asked about the scoring. Done with the judging. Done with the pushing their bodies to the absolute limit in order to be dismissed and put out of favour.

“Hey Scott! Hey Tessa!” People say. “We just want you to know that we looove what you did.”

“That’s nice, it’s always so great to have such wonderful fans.”

“For the record, we thought that you should’ve won over here at global news.”

“Thank you, it’s always so heartwarming to have such kind and generous fans.”

Their blood simmered beneath their skin all the while.

“I can’t believe that you two didn’t win!”

“Unfortunately, that’s part of the sport that we love so much, that it is artistic, that it is subjective.”

“So, Scott, Tessa, there was some question with the judging, what’s your take on it?”

Scott met her eyes and his partner saw the anger settled behind his irises. With a single look she knew to take this one.

“Unfortunately, we don’t have any part in the judging, and we’ve done all that we can do on the matter, we went out there and we were so happy with that moment that we created for ourselves on the ice.”

 

Tessa lay in her bed for a long time that evening. Not for the first time she was thankful that Kaitlyn could fall asleep so quickly so that she could, effectively, be alone.

 

It’s Scott and Canada — but mostly Scott — that she can’t bear not having this victory for. Her tears are wet as she rocks herself to sleep not for herself but for him, for Scott missing his niece’s birthday party and his childhood friend’s last days. For the Canadians who sat by the television over dinner and gathered in community rec halls to watch them _win_. For B2Ten who finally allowed her to skate to her full potential which still, apparently, wasn’t enough. For the fraud she feels as a flag bearer unable to follow through.

 

By midnight she reaches anger. Since when could they not deliver? Those were good skates. No. Those were great skates. Those were the skates of a lifetime. It should’ve been enough. More than enough.

 

Tessa fades into sleep in the early hours of the morning, chest rising and falling with a gentle sigh each time as the wind whistles and howls outside their window through the mountains.Not a minute later, however, both her and Kaitlyn are startled by a succession of loud knocks on the door.

 

They hear yelling.

“T?”

“Huh?” she grumbles, hair falling into her eyes as she sits up.

“T, I need to talk to you!”


	2. My Heart... At Last

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Marie-France and Patrice through the years with VM

Seeing Tessa and Scott unhappy is one of the hardest things about being their coaches. Even before that in Sochi, seeing their kids defeated in more ways than one is like ripping Patch and Marie-France’s hearts out chamber by chamber, as if someone is dissecting their very souls and discovering every way to make them hurt without ever touching them, without ever really having anything to do with them at all. They feel utterly helpless. They can reach out and they do but when it comes down to it there is nothing that they can do to make a real difference, to right the wrongs. It carves out a place in their chests that is never quite filled.

 

Their lives are busy over the next few years. They have a young team who comes to them in the summer and starts doing well. Very well. Marie-France is excited to have a new team, fresh blood and they speak French too. She feels like maybe that hole in her heart is slowly healing.

 

When Tessa and Scott decide to come back they’re all so excited. All four of them. It seems miraculous to Marie-France and Patch, a final opportunity to do these kids right. A final opportunity to give them the Olympics they deserve, Tessa pain free, both skaters supported and encouraged and allowed to flourish.

 

 

Tessa is so adamant that they can do both. Patrice recalls it afterwards clear as day.

“You know I don’t want this to happen what if you do have that moment but come second?” He had asked. Tessa and Scott share a look that defies him and Marie-France.

“We can do both.”

 

Marie-France is in Zagreb when Tessa and Scott come in second at the Grand Prix final. The writing is seemingly on the wall but it’s different this time. She and Tessa rework the free dance until it is a masterpiece. The piece de resistance of her choreography and their skating talent.

 

Marie-France and Patrice show up at the Olympics confident in how they have prepared their top skaters. Tessa and Scott are trained and ready to win. In the short dance Marie-France prays that Tessa and Scott are not underscored. They aren’t. She takes a deep breath for the first time that day. They have their teams where they need to be. Patrice and Marie-France don’t sleep much that night, they only hold each other in the dark and pray that the next day turns out like today. This is their Olympic redemption as much as anyone’s.

 

The wait for the final groups at a big event is always agonising, even more so when you have other groups before then like the two coaches do. The day feels like two by the time Tessa and Scott’s free dance music crashes to a close and Patch and Marie-France spot Tessa beaming across the rink in delight. Marie-France knows that this moment is for those kids she loves like her own. Patrice can barely contain himself by the boards and he beams too and struggles not to show his pride and joy. Tessa and Scott have achieved what they dreamed of.

 

It has taken them four years but Patrice and Marie-France have, at last, almost pieced their hearts back together for their babies. Now for the final piece.

“Tessa Virtue and Scott Moir have earned... they are currently in second place.”

They feel meaningless, nothing’s changed, everything shatters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! New chapter soon. I love and read every single comment.

**Author's Note:**

> Same name on Tumblr come say hi! Please comment. If you have any maybe even comment with ideas for other chapters which I’m writing right now :)


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